how does this happen

 I often wonder usually several weeks after the fact, just how did I get so far off the mark?. I wonder how did things get so out of hand and why did i fail. I always make good well intentioned plans to exercise, then BOOM its two weeks later and still not one drop of sweat shed not one push up nothing. It always leaves me wondering how does that happen.

Am I lazy? i guess i could be. Am I to busy? could be but isn't everybody !. Why does this happen not just once or twice but all the time. Do i just expect I will fail therefore I make sure I don't let myself down. I have no idea.

  I wish I could just get up in the morning jump into my workout clothes and have at it. Workout so hard that i leave a puddle of sweat on the floor. Its all so overwhelming to me that I just don't know where to begin.

  I weighed myself today for the first time in 3 months and was shocked to see the scale at 182lbs. The last time i weighed myself I was 162 so, in 3 months i have gained 20 lbs again i ask how does that happen, where do i begin to lose this weight. Well I guess I  know where I need to start and that is with my diet. When potato chips have become your go to meal i am guessing that can account for the 20lbs of fat hanging off of me

   I know that my diet is a huge issue with my weight, ie; afore mentioned potato chip habit, but not only that I will go all day without eating then be starving by supper and eat a enitre days worth of calories in one sitting and not to mention eating chips before bed. Eating is something I have struggled with my entire life so it is no surprise to me that I still struggle with it now. I know I am an emotional eater and again chips are my go to item.Just dont buy them you say been there tried that and somehow they find their way into my home and into my hand .Ifeel as though I may have a serious addicition to chips, is that even possiable ? I guess it most likely is

  I just want to be healthy and fit and i know that right now I am not that by any stretch of the imagination. i struggle with diet and exercise where to start and how to keep the motivation going for more than a few days at a time.

 So this is my begining of my next attempt to lose weight and eat healthy and be fit and do it on a budget while I work a full time shift work job and look after my 2 kids sorry just getting all of my excuses out on the table so I can read them later and tell myself that so does everyone else so suck it up buttercup cry me a river build a bridge and get over it. I know that sounds harsh but I think I need a bit of a drill sergent at this time.

So here are my goals 

1: lose 47 lbs 

2: run a 10k race in september 2014 

3: be a healthy role modle for my 2 girls 

4: feel comfortable in my own skin 

Now my ideal weight in my head is 135 however if i get to 140 an i feel good in my own skin and I feel healthy the I will maintain my weight there but if I feel that 135 isn't where I want to be then I will keep going I just want to healthy and I am just trying to make myself responsible for my own actions. I am being abusive to myself and it needs to stop STAT !!!!!

Well this is embarrassing

  I really need to step up my game here, now don't I . I have a challenge to complete and I will do it. For some reason i am finding this to be a challenge in it's self. For what i lack in motivation if exzude in determination. My new workout/daily vlog will go on and i will be much more diligant in posting. I am working out a few kinks but will start at the begining of next week which will be March 17/14 (happy st patty's day) Maybe it will have the luck of the irish with me. I am looking into doing a daily workout that is on youtube call the 30 day real time challenge from bodyrock.tv. It is a intense HIIT workout and I feel it is just what i need to start my weight loss goals. I will also be sharing my eats and what i am taking to work in my lunch bag. So please tune in and folllow along with me and let me know if you complete the  workouts with me, I love hearing from you. 

#66dayhabitformingchallenge DO OVER !!

Hi Folks,

 I am here by invoking my right to a DO OVER.!!! So my start to the 66 day challenge started out OK but with in a few days went by the wayside in true ADD fashion. however, i am going to get back on the horse and ride off into the sunset a victor if it kills me!(and it just may).
  
I will be restarting my quest for greatness starting tomorrow Saturday Feb 15 2014. I will be doing a weekly post most likely on Fridays and there will be a corresponding  you tube vlog as well also posted on Fridays.

My quest is this,
1. i will get up every morning at 430 am
2. i will exercise daily
3. i will eat healthy

This is my quest for greatness, during this process I am hoping I will lose weight and be able to give myself more time on me and make me a better person so I can be a better mom. I want my girls to see me making a effort to be healthy and hope they follow along

I would love it of you could come along with my on my journey and see if it really does take 66 days to form a habit.

My BIG mess

Here is  my video on my big  mess, now I know I should have left the camera rolling for the whole process but unfortunately my camera isn't great so need to get a new one so i can make a more professional type video. Although, I did have a few ADD distractions that seem to happen without my knowledge ! however, I was able to get it completed the entire process took about a hour but the actual time spend doing the work was only about 20 mins, the rest was victim to ADD.

ABOUT ME

Hey Everyone,
  This post is just to say Hi and tell you a little bit about myself and my life. First off I am 41 years old and I work full time at my local Hospital as a Registered Practical Nurse. I have was  diagnosed with ADD at the age of 39 although it was a life long struggle.

   I have 2 children both with special needs, Kacie is 13 years old she has Asperger's and ADD/ADHD . For Kacie the aspergers is fairly mild however it is more the social aspect that puts her on the cusp of the spectrum. Her ADD/ADHD is more to the ADD side where she has a very difficult time focusing on much. She is a wonderful child, with a very old soul and a amazing artistic talent.

  Jessica is 11 she has Down Syndrome and ADD/ADHD, Jess started life kinda behind the 8 ball she was born with a heart condition called AVSD (arterial ventricular septal defect) which means she had a large whole in her heart that needed to be repaired with surgery. Jess had the surgery at 9 months and has never looked back, she is a joy to have and brings joy to our lives everyday.

   Things I like are my arc planner from Staples and my print at home planner from www.abowlfulloflemons.net .  I have a major love affair with coffee and some of my favorites are Tim Hortons(most all Canadians fav) and Tassimo breakfast blend from nabob are the ones that get my heart racing !. Even though I have learned that coffee is not really that good for you I have cut my excessive coffee habit down from about 15 cups a day to 1.

 Now, my vlog and blog are going to be about my life dealing with my ADD and raising 2 kids with it as well. How I introduce a new exercise and eating routine to my already busy life. I hope that you will be able to follow along on my journey through this life.